The cry of my heart!!!!

Among The Thirsty - I'd Need A Savior
From the album Wonder

How many names can I use to explain the love of my Jesus,
the life that he gave and so many times will I praise you today.
I lift up my life ‘cause you’re always the same
And my offering to you I bring

Chorus:
Your name is Jesus. Your name is Jesus.
You’re the Wonderful, Counselor, my Friend.
You’re what I hold on to; I know that you brought me through
All the days of loss, to the cross you knew
I’d need a Savior.

How many songs can I sing to proclaim your wondrous love and beauty so great?
What would I say if you brought down the rain and everyday
I walk through the pain my heart would still say…

Chorus:

You’re what I hold on to; I know that you brought me through
All the days of loss, to the cross you knew
I’d need a Savior.
I’d need a Savior
I need you, Savior

This song more than describes the cry of my heart right now!!! I have been straying from the Lord, being involved in sin that I could not seem to shake. I have been wrapped in chains that I wanted out of but wouldn't cry out for God's grace to cover me and break them. Last night for the first time in a long time, I cried out to my Savior. I cried for His grace to cover me. To rid me of the sin in which I have been dwelling. I desire to break free. I need God's strength to cut me out and bring me back to the narrow path in which I should be walking. More than ever, God knew I'd need a Savior. He rescued me last night. And I am thankful that He will continue to rescue me. He is my knight in shining armor.

My Awakening

I have been home from the ship for 35 days now!!!! 5 weeks today!!! When I left the ship, I felt like I would be coming home to a life that would be peaches and roses, although I wasn't so silly to actually believe that 100%. However, I thought it would be much easier to live for Christ at home, with family and friends who believe in the same Savior I do. What I found when I came home though, was that living for Christ no matter where is hard. I have found that my heart has been hardened. I have realized that the person I am being is definitely not who God wants me to be. I miss my fellowship with God. But instead of seeking out ways to find my Savior, I have ignored it. I haven't gone to church as much as I thought I would, and when I did go, I didn't pay attention much. I haven't prayed. I haven't read my Bible. Overall, I have become numb.
I have had some divine appointments lately though that have opened my eyes to see that this woman has a purpose, a calling in life, and I am wasting it. Then, I went to church tonight and God broke the ice around my heart. The scripture of the night:

This is where God broke my heart. If I can't humble myself and pray, and seek God with all I have, and turn from my own sin, how in the world can the other people in this world find Christ. I have a duty in this world to be passionately seeking Christ and showing the world this Savior. Instead, I have been sitting still, as if there is not a lost and dying world. I just left a ship of 1000 crew members, and maybe 10% of them have a relationship with Jesus. There were 55 nations represented right there, on that vessel where I spent 3 months of my life. I didn't have to go out to the nations. God brought them to me. And I wasted it. I am tired of wasting this life. I am tired of being numb. I want to be awakened, to fight. to serve.

Quotes from Brock Lillis, an evangelist from Tennessee:
"You can be dunked under the water so many times that you know the fish by their first name and still be lost."

"Without God you are like a car without gas. NOTHING."

Pictures from Ship life

Miracle Life

My two closest friends on the Miracle

My Favorite Mexican I've ever met, I love Federico

PRE-My Birthday/Farewell celebration at Supper Club

My Soul mate on the ship, Elizabeth

He's a real cool "Joe" no pun intended

Good friend Sam and me


New York City

Me in Times Square

I'm a big kid!!! What can I say!!!

The day Lizzie and I became soulmates


My favorite cruise

Most of my kids and Kyle, he was adopted into Circle C

Kyle again

Going snorkeling in Grand Turk with my sweetums


Random ports

Riding a sweet horse in Grand Turk

Living it up on the beach in St. Thomas USVI


Half Moon Cay, the most beautiful beach

Lizzie and me taking in the rays

Parasailing, I finally got to do it


Bermuda

I took my teens sailing on a catamaran out in King's Wharf, Bermuda

Just exploring the Bermudian streets

A beautiful Bermudian sunset

My Miracle on the Miracle

Well first off, I need to say that my Miracle experience has come to an end. I have returned home to Mississippi, as I felt I needed to. I want to be with the people who matter the most, my wonderful family. And I didn't feel like ship life was the place where I could be a Godly lady.
So I booked a flight and said goodbye to my wonderful friends. I admit, I cried a little bit when I left the ship. No matter how much I hated it at times, it is hard to leave great friendships that are built.
My soulmate, my Miracle on the Miracle, Elizabeth Ann Pearce, was the hardest to leave. We stuck together our whole time together on the ship. We were disco buddies, port buddies, prayer partners, goof off buddies, girl talkers, best friends, and sisters. I am so thankful that God put us together and I believe it is no coincidence that we met on a ship called the Miracle. It was hard to say goodbye to her, but I have assured her that when she flies to Mississippi in Aug/Sept that I will gladly put a glass of sweet tea in one hand and a cowbell in another and show her Mississippi life. I can't wait til that day.
So, home I am. Mississippi. I was away for 100 days. When I got back tonight, Mamaw cried. I hugged her. I held her hand. I loved on her. It was beautiful. Then I went outside to hug my dog. We sat outside for a while, she in my lap, me rubbing her fat belly, and enjoying the stars. It has been a beautiful day.

I am exhausted, and my face looks like skin cancer (thanks alot beautiful Bahamian beach that draws you in so much you can't leave and then your face gets fried)!!!! I believe I am going to turn in for the night and get some much needed rest. Something Carnival workers don't get much of. Thank God I am home to get some now!!!

Peace, love, and Southern comfort (not the alcohol, definitely the lifestyle!!!)

The Best Cruise Ever

So I just came out of the best cruise I could have asked for. I had such a beautiful group of teens who all loved me dearly. The feeling was mutual. I cried the last night because I was losing them. I even got really close to their parents. On the cruise, I got to kiss a stingray, which was probably the coolest thing I have ever done. I took some great kids out there.

Anyway, I am in Grand Turk right now and the weather is sunny and warm. I am enjoying it. This cruise has not been as great as last but it hard to beat something as good as I just came out of.

Still making tons of friends. Several of us are planning to go to the fancy restaurant on board for my birthday. It costs $40 per person but it is a real fancy like 6 course meal or some hoop la of the sort. Sounds like a good way to spend some money. Haha.

Hope to update again soon.

Great Times

So ship life is turning out to be quite a blast. We had the relocation tour last week to New York City and it was so much fun. I hung out alot with my friends. Then 3 friends and I went out to NYC together and that was great.
I am on a 6 day cruise right now which has been lovely. We went to Bermuda where I took 5 teens sailing on a sweet catamaran. I got to put my feet in the freezing cold Atlantic. It was beautiful. Also, I saw the head of the Bermuda triangle.
I am in Rhode Island today with some friends.
I have gotten quite close with a girl on the ship. She is a Christian so we share that bond. She is such a blast to hang out with. We are now port buddies and hang out almost everyday.
Anyway, computer is dying and I gotta head back to the ship.
Love, peace, and hamburger grease (our burgers on the ship have none, they are too dry!!!!)

Life is Good

So, Carnival life is not so bad after all. I am really starting to get into the swing of everything. I am having way better cruises and am making more friends each and every day. I just finished up my best cruise two days ago. I had only 47 teens in my age group and about 20 regulars. They were dramatic, but wonderful. We went on a teen tour in St. Kitts. We got to snorkel and kayak 2.5 miles in the Caribbean. It was great fun. My teens this week really loved me. I got some great feedback, lots of tips, and a really cool gift.

Anyway, this cruise is super busy. I have about 150 teens just in my age group and already almost 80 registered. I have about 30-40 that come regularly. It is crazy crazy this week, but I think I am going to enjoy this group a good bit.

I miss home still but I am actually enjoying my job now. I feel like I am doing a good job here and I like it.

It will be nice after this cruise, we have 2 days of no guests. We are relocating to New York City. I absolutely cannot wait. I have always wanted to go there and will finally get my chance.

Anyway, the vagabond must go eat. Love ya'll, and miss you heaps.

Marc and Me in St. MaartenMy teens in St. Kitts before the teen tour

An Adventurous Cruise

So this past cruise was probably my best one yet, as far as the teens go. They were quite wild and I probably could've found a cattle prod handy, however, they were a great group. One guy yesterday got up on stage in a dress, makeup, and pretty hair and sang, "Man I feel like a Woman." It was quite possibly the greatest thing ever. Also, he shaved his legs last night. Some people didn't even know he was a guy. Alot of guys dressed up like girls. WE were going to have a womanless beauty pageant. Everything was going great with the prep until one guy got injured and blood started gushing and all the kids began to freak out and call for me. So, I had to remain calm and collected while the kids are going ballistic. Anyway, all that got resolved and everything went somewhat back to normal, except I was a bit frazzled.

Anyway, overall the cruise went well. I made more friends and have been hanging out a great deal with one guy I met. We went into port together today. I have been trying to get online to post pictures but my laptop doesn't work well with ship internet. I get to get off in St. Kitts this week where they have free internet and I will post pictures then. Anyway, until then, peace, love, and vagabondness!!!

Life is on the upscale

Life on Miracle is so much better than when I last posted!!! I really was having a sour time, but I talked with my supervisor and told her how I was feeling and getting it out in the open has really helped....I am enjoying this way more now!!!

I have made tons of friends, many American. I have been hanging out with some this week, one most of the day yesterday. It is nice to be making friends.

The ports so far this week have been just yuck!!! Panama was quite frightening, and I got offered a great deal on a $200 cab ride. (ahem, kiss my hiney!!) I stayed there about 45 minutes, if that long. And today, I went into Costa Rica, for ummm, about 20 minutes and was back on the ship...There is not much in either place, and the places that are good to go to are expensive or scary on the way....And I don't have a port buddy because all my friends are busy....So this week, I am hanging mostly on the ship!!!

Anyway, hope all is well at home!!! Love yas

Miracle Life

So Miracle life is not as pleasant as I had hoped....I feel like some people just want us to fail at our jobs....however, I am trying to do my best....I am making alot of friends though....I have several American friends on this ship which is nice....Got hit on by a few sleezy guys last night....I just told them I was too busy for a man....

Anyway, just keep me in your prayers as I am trying to get used to this whole different life...I am getting more used to ship life in general...I like the travelling and meeting new people alot, and especially working with the kids.....I just want to feel from the higher positions like they want me to succeed and do wonderful.

The ports this week have been nice. ST. Kitts is definitely my favorite of the ones of this cruise....It is prettiest, although the St. Patty's karaoke party in St. Lucia was quite humorous.

Anyway, I gotta head back to the ship.

Peace out, I love ya'll....

The Little wimp plane that took me to Bahamas

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St. Kitts



St. Lucia



St. Maarten

Missing

Today has been a weird day. I was really busy, with moving into my new lounge, which I really like. It was busy busy busy.

Tonight has been an emotional night. I have fought tears alot. I like the fact that I have my own lounge on this ship, but I really miss the old ship alot. The girls on Freedom that I made friends with. Man, it's not like that here. The dynamics of the group here are way different. These people aren't ones I could see myself hanging out with and keeping in touch with once I leave this ship. maybe I have not given them enough time yet, but I just am not as happy here. I don't like the ship as much, but I am really trying to have a positive attitude. Ship life is realy getting easier. I guess I will never get used to the looks I get from men, but atleast half of these sleezes will be getting off in Fort Lauderdale.

On lighter note, I was leaving downtown heading back to the ship last night and a girl walked up to me and asked if I was from the South. Turns out, she is a MSU graduate too. It was so nice to talk to someone who understands cowbells. She was with a Texan and North Carolinan(?) So now I have friends that are American. Two of them are leaving in a few weeks but at least I will have another friend, hopefully so anyway.

Gotta run to bed....work early....

It's the Miracle

Hey guys, I am sitting in a construction yard in the Bahamas. I have slow internet and no good scenery. But I do like the new ship. It is completely different than the Freedom, but I am making my way. I have a cool roommate. She is from the Philippines. The youth staff I've met so far are really nice as well. There are things that I like better about Freedom, but other things I like better about Miracle, such as my room is way bigger. :-)

I am supposed to move into my new lounge on Wednesday. Until then, it's paperwork, labeling inventory, sorting, etc, etc, etc.

Food on the new ship is not so great. I have eaten yogurt two nights in a row. I know, gross, right. (Yes, Mom, I ate yogurt, and I did not gag)

Gotta run off, internet is slow and computer is dying.

Peace out

Ship Life

Cruise two went by so quickly. Much quicker than cruise one. The kids in my group liked me alot too. I think I will get good ratings for this cruise.

I admit, I was a bit sad to leave Freedom this morning because I made some good friends on that ship and am having to start all over again on a new ship, however, it will be an adventure. Meet more people, get my own lounge, etc. Thus far, this have proven to be nothing short of a crazy adventure. When I left Mississippi, I wanted an adventure and I am surely getting it. I have made friends with people from all over the world. Just in the youth department on Freedom there were people from Philippines, South Africa, Mexico, Hungary, Bosnia, Slovakia, and America. I also made friends with tons of people from Canada. Needless to say, I am building a worldwide network.

As for now, I am sitting in the Fort Lauderdale airport waiting to catch my flight to Freeport, Bahamas, where my ship is on dry dock until March 13. I have heard some very interesting things about dry dock. Yet again, it will be an adventure. :-)

I have posted some pictures below from the past few days.

I miss you all back home. (Uh oh, I didn't say ya'll, ship life is getting me.)



Camp Carnival Girls at Piano Bar (My last elegant night on Freedom)


Sweet JJ and me




Nicolas Cage's Private Yacht


Stef and Me at Atlantis Hotel


The chair that apparently cost $1M to get there


Jael and Me on Water taxi to Paradise Island in Nassau


Pretty Waterfall at Atlantis

Beach in Antigua

Stef, Andy, and Me on the Beach in Antigua


My awful sunburn after two days of Caribbean sun


Beautiful beach in St. Thomas


Me in my beautiful beach, Magen's Bay (in St. Thomas)


Leaving San Juan, heading back to Ship


Stef, Me, Jael, and Pedro in San Juan, WE love Puerto Rico


Puerto Rico sunset!!!!!

Cruise Numero Dos

So this cruise has been much better than the first. I have had a better attitude about everything. I am relaxing and enjoying this work vacation. It actually has been a great deal of fun, with seeing all the ports I have been to. San Juan and St. Thomas are absolutely amazing. Antigua and Tortola have been just ok. I have not seen much of Tortola, as I am still in full sight of the ship right now. I don't want to get out much today, I don't need much sun. I am already a lobster. It is quite unnverving. I am pretty much in serious pain with all my burns. Anyway, I saw a naked little baby running around the beach yesterday. It was cute. And I got asked out to eat by a ship guest. He is from Iowa. He got me to take a picture with him. The other girls were laughing at me for it.

As for my transfer, I will be flying to Freeport, Bahamas on Sunday where I will be until probably March 12 or 13. We will be back in Fort Lauderdale on the 13th to sail out for my first cruise with Miracle. During those 4-5 days in Bahamas, I will be setting up my Circle C lounge. Hopefully I will get some freetime to explore as well.

I also figured out, by the end of March, I will have been to 16 different countries, counting the 3 I had been to before I started this adventure. Holy butterbean. This adventure is dragging me all over the place. Hehe.

Bon Voyage.

I'm Hot then I'm Cold

Since I have been gone, I have felt that this job has been nothing shy of an absolute adventure. Some things I have hated, some things I have loved. Overall, it has been fun. However, at this point, I don't know that I will sign a 2nd contract. It is too soon to know now, but there is so much about ship life that I hate. Everyone here calls ship life the "shit" life. Pardon the language, however, I so agree. About 95% of men on this ship look at women with sex eyes as if they think that women are mere objects for their satisfaction. I don't like being seen as such. I have gotten hit on by an incredible number of men. I feel so trashy. And the drinking, whew, the drinking. I know one girl on the ship so far that doesn't drink. I have met tons and only one that I know of that doesn't drink. It is so unnerving. And the rules, oh the rules, Carnival has some of the dumbest rules. Anyway, despite all of this, I am enjoying myself to an extent. I am trying to have a positive attitude and make the best of this adventure.

On light note, I am going to San Juan, Puerto Rico tonight with two of my good friends on the ship. They are both really fun. One is Stef and she is from South Africa, and the other is Jael from Mexico. WE went to the Disco together last night and had great fun. It is nice to finally have friends. I have about 5 girls that I am pretty close to, other than that, I generally stay alone.

I have actually found some SEC football fans on board. One crew member is an Arkansas fan, and he talks almost as country as I do. It is nice to hear someone else say ya'll. I get made fun of for it all the time. I also met two guests last night that just graduated from Auburn (War Eagle, that's for you, J.D.)!!!!

Anyway, I shall be going to work now. Pray for me, I have one super abnoxious kid. Nobody in the group likes him. He is annoying and he ruins games for everyone else. He is pretty much like the drippy faucet that gets under your skin and makes you wanna rip your hair out!!! Yea, that's him!!! URG

Ending Cruise

So, my first cruise is over, and I AM SO GLAD!!!! My kids were good to begin with, but the later the week went on, they really began to push my buttons. They didn't listen to anything I said after about Wednesday. It was frustrating, but they are 12-14 year olds. That is to be expected.

Anyway, I have so far gotten hit on by two teenagers, two staff members, and a teenager's dad. It is really quite embarrassing. Oh well..

Overall the cruise went pretty well. The highlight was definitely tonight when two of my kids dressed up in dresses and pranced around the playroom. It was quite amusing. I have noticed the pattern with tween boys, they all act gay. It is kinda disturbing.

So my next ship that I will start working on March 8 will be starting out of Fort Lauderdale and then moving to New York in April. The cruises will go to Costa Rica, Panama, Belize, Bermuda, US Virgin Islands, Rhode Island, Netherlands Antilles, West Indies, and a few more. I think it will be a good move for me. I will have my own lounge on the new ship, whereas now I am having to move my kids all around the ship to different places, which doesn't always work out so well.

I am glad to be going on the next cruise, because I will be going to some pretty cool places. Two of them, I believe I can use my cell phone and that will be really nice.

Anyway, I am enjoying this job, but I miss home alot. Anyway, I must run on to bed because I have immigration tomorrow early morning. Goodnight
The Vagabond.

More photos

Cruise Number 1

Grand Cayman

My Cabin